What’s Shaking, Man?

“After we talk about your runny nose and cough, I hope you are planning to tell me about that tremor.” By the time my doctor confronted my avoidance of the obvious, I already knew I had Parkinson’s. The internet told me so! That was September 2013 and by February 2014 I had finished all the diagnostic tests, and I was officially diagnosed. At the time, I was in an executive leadership role for a large public mental health agency. The irony was not lost on me that I, a person who achieved so much by being in control, was now diagnosed with a disease characterized by loss of control of one’s own body! I was not laughing, though. As one manager said aloud during the executive team meeting where I announced my diagnosis, “Well, that sucks!”

I had to agree. Throughout the weeks following my diagnosis I tried to keep a positive attitude as I told friends, family, and coworkers. The weight of carrying the diagnosis and the presence of the medication side effects were impacting me emotionally and physically. Yes, it sucked.

One day a trusted colleague approached while I was getting coffee before a meeting and asked me, “What’s shaking, man?” I laughed, held out my hand with the tremor, and said, “Well, just about everything.” The look on her face and the audible gasp let me know she had not greeted me this way with the intent of a joke. She was mortified and embarrassed. On the other hand, I found humor in having Parkinson’s for the first time.

In a recent interview, Michael J Fox said, “Parkinson’s is funny until it isn’t.” I have some friends and family who say that Parkinson’s is not funny. I understand they say this because they love me. They understand that I cannot live with Parkinson’s if I cannot laugh at it. Having Parkinson’s is not funny, I know. Sometimes life’s circumstances are humorous because of or in spite of the burdens they bring forth. Those circumstances in my life with Parkinson’s is what “What’s Shaking Man” is about. Please feel free to laugh with me or at me as you read, and if you see me out and about please free to approach and ask me, “What’s shaking, man?”