Matters of the Heart
There’s this weird thing that happens sometimes when I tell people I have Parkinson’s. They try to talk me out of it! Rarely do they say I don’t have Parkinson’s. Instead they share articles about people misdiagnosed or show me a list of symptoms and highlight the ones they think I do not have. These are usually friends and family who care about me and don’t want to believe this is the condition I will live with the rest of my life. They are scared, confused, and angry. I get it. I feel the same way!
Most perplexing to me are the medical providers who make comments that imply I might not have Parkinson’s. I was diagnosed at age 48 and a couple of years after this I had to go to a cardiologist for some tests. I had turned 50, was not eating well, was not exercising much, and was having higher than a usual blood pressure readings. I asked my primary care doctor if Parkinson’s played a role in the state of my health. He politely implied that, no, it was because I had become a lazy pig! So, I needed to see someone who specializes in matters of the heart. I wasn’t sure I had found one after my first interaction with the cardiologist:
CARDIO (walking into the room): You have Parkinson’s?
ME: Yes.
CARDIO: How long ago were you diagnosed.
ME: Over two years ago.
CARDIO: You’re too young to have Parkinson’s.
ME: Tell that to my Parkinson’s.
CARDIO: Are you sure you have it because I don’t see any symptoms.
ME: Yes, I am sure. I take medicine that hides my tremor.
CARDIO: Hmmmm (rolls his eyes)
I appreciate his concern and attention to my overall health. He must have thought I was self diagnosed, had the caffeine shakes, or had an idiot for a neurologist. It was rude. I did not know how to respond then but wish I had said this:
ME: So you’re a cardiologist?
CARDIO: Yes.
ME: How long have you been practicing?
CARDIO: Five years.
ME: You look too young to be a doctor.
CARDIO: Tell that to my off-shore medical school.
ME: Are you sure you you’re a cardiologist, because you don’t seem to have any heart.
As I drove home and considered the interaction I wanted to go back to the cardiologist and roast him with my witty comeback. After I set my ego aside and lowered my unspoken expectations of him, well, I just didn’t have the heart to do it.
