Travel Light ( loosely based on a true story)
It is not the way I like travel. Of course, I have never tried it before. I have to say the cool ocean breeze does invigorate me as I prepare to travel for undesirable reasons. It all started with a sick father halfway across the country. I knew nobody else would be with him, and that I had to be there, and soon. I also knew I needed an inexpensive, dare I say cheap, airline ticket. I love my father, but that love has a price, and that price is economy not business class. Not only that, but I was at work when I got the news and if I took time off to look for a ticket, I’d have even less money to buy that ticket. So I called my lazy and bored friend and asked him to look online for me. He is retired, which explains the lazy and bored, and he took on the challenge of finding a fare at a ridiculously low price limit. And, he did it!
So here I stand at gate 5A at the international airport naked, waiting for my flight to board. My friend explained to me that We’re It! Airlines has by far the cheapest tickets to anywhere, but once you start booking the flight online, you realize quickly why the tickets are so cheap. It’s not unusual for an airline to charge for a carry-on suitcase, checking a bag, or for overweight luggage. I have gotten really good at pushing the limits of size and weight of a carry-on and my personal item when I travel. Once I packed enough food and clothing to last 10 days in my personal bag and carry on suitcase. It looked like I was smuggling a small elephant and gray whale to Texas, and no one from the airline said a thing. But today’s flight is different because carry-ons take me over my budget.
According to my friend, We’re It! Airlines (Yes, the exclamation point was a corporate decision, and does not represent my excitement about flying with them) charges for selecting a seat, using a ticket agent to check-in rather than one of those automated touch screens, carrying on a bag, carrying on a personal item, and drinking a glass of tepid tap water on the flight (no other beverage or snacks available). Apparently they even charge for the shirt on your back. Actually, the shirt is the least expensive item to wear on. It goes up in price exponentially when you get to pants and underwear, and do not even ask about a belt! The one thing you are able to bring are shoes and socks. “No fees,” said the gate attendant/pilot/flight attendant, “It is for your safety.”
That is why I am in line, naked in my steel-toed work boots, the cool breeze invigorating me. I am waiting and wondering if I should have at least brought a jacket for the snow and ice I am sure to experience in Michigan in February. “No,” said my friend, “a jacket would put you over budget.” Which left me, worrying about my father, his health, and what size clothing he wears.