The Worst Part

Recently, I had a colonoscopy. Everybody says the prep for a colonoscopy is the worst, and I have to agree. Except for this time. I should tell you that I am no rookie at this colonoscopy thing. Thanks to my cultural background, family history and the presence of polyps I had to start when I was 40 and have just kept going since. Just to put some perspective on it, in the past 20 years I’ve only had two cars, but I’ve had my colon photographed five times. I don’t even have five pictures of those cars.

So what was so special about this one? Well, it is the first one I have had since I had DBS almost 3 years ago, and I was surprised when my DBS advisor said I should turn off the DBS before and during the procedure. I have never turned my DBS off. I know some of you out there turn it off regularly as some kind of parlor trick. “Look at me! Now I tremor. Now I don’t. It’s magic!” My philosophy is don’t look back. I remember what it was like, and that’s enough for me.

I don’t know why I was so nervous about turning it off for the procedure. I guess I imagined my body returning to its non-electrified state of shaking with a dyskinesia. What if I turned it back on after the procedure and it didn’t work? What if that nurse who smiled and comforted me before the procedure, had a look of disgust and horror? What if the Doctor who has performed all of my colonoscopies suddenly changes his mind and turns my case over to a younger gastroenterologist who is not as skilled with the “camera”. What if…

Of course, none of that happened. After I turned it off I remember saying to the anesthesiologist, “Look my left hand is starting to sh...” Next thing I knew I was in recovery, remote in my hand, and I was turning it back on. I guess now it is back to the colon cleaning prep being worst part.