Devils and Unicorns

One of my friends is going in to have DBS in late March. When I see him and we talk about it and he mostly wants assurance is that it doesn’t hurt. I tell him my experience and remind him that not all people have the same experience. Today though he came up to me and said he keeps looking, but he can’t see any bumps on my head. He thought there were supposed to be bumps. I explained to him that I do have bumps, they feel huge when I touch them, but nobody notices them.

I remember when I first had this surgery one of my Instagram friends commented, “welcome to the devil horn club!“ And that’s what it feels like to the touch. Like two wisdom teeth itching to break through the skin and develop into full-on creature horns. Of course, I don’t see myself as a very evil person. So I doubt they are devil horns. Maybe they are goat horns, though that sounds presumptuous that somehow mine are the “greatest of all time.” I’m having a hard time deciding which horned animal to choose. I guess my friend is lucky, he is only having DBS on one side so by default he is a unicorn. I know, I know, he could also be a rhinoceros, but their horns are made of the same stuff that make up human hair and fingernails. That’s gross! He will have to settle for a magical one-horned horse that poops rainbows.