Becoming a Chihuahua

I have been thinking a lot about Chihuahuas. It is an interesting breed of dog. Often mistaken for rodents, the Chihuahua has been described as a squeaky toy for large dogs. This small breed of dog is often characterized as aggressive, yappy, nervous, suspicious, shaky, temperamental, nippy, and aloof. Others, usually Chihuahua owners, see them as energetic, playful, and loyal. It is the smallest breed recognized by the American Kennel Club, and their website describes Chihuahuas as “charming, graceful, sassy.”

As I think about these diverse characteristics, I see similarities with living with Parkinson’s. The most obvious is “shaky.” I have seen Chihuahuas shaking for no reason. It is not cold. There is not threatening situation. They just shake. So do I! Next there is “nervous.” Of course I am nervous. I have a degenerative brain disease with no predictable progression and no cure. That is enough to make me nervous and shake. Then there is “nippy.” Ask me one more time if I know Michael J. Fox and I will probably snap and bite your head off. Am I temperamental? See the “nippy” example above. “Aloof” is another apt descriptor. After all, I have a brain disease, and you cannot relate to my experience, so I am going to sit here in self-pity and show no interest in you. Hmmm, I am beginning to see why I have trouble making friends.

Of course there are some Chihuahua traits to which I cannot relate. “Graceful” has never appeared in the same sentence as my name. The slowness, rigidity and gait problems in Parkinson’s only make my lack of grace more obvious. “Energetic”? Some days, yes. Most days, no. Some days, Hell no! “Aggressive”, of which I’ve never been accused, is different than “nippy” (see above, again). You agree it is different, right?! You better… Finally, my picture has never been in the dictionary next to the word yappy. Yappy is defined as “a dog making a short, high sound.” My voice is monotone and deep. I will not leave out the second definition of yappy which is “to talk continuously.” Don’t get me started on Parkinson’s. I can and will talk your ear off.

Bite your head off? You better agree with me…? Talk your ear off? I really need to reevaluate my aggression.

***This blog post is dedicated to Daisy, my Chihuahua companion for the last 14 years. She died five weeks ago. The word people used the most to describe her was “sweet.” They were right. She was also friendly, loyal, fun and a bit sassy. Like me, she had a brain disease. Hers was epilepsy. I like to think that I modeled for her how to fully live with a brain disease. The truth is that it was the other way around.

Daisy, Spring 2022