Quarterback Karma
Stop the presses! A new cause of Parkinson’s Disease has been discovered. Brett Favre’s accuser in the 2008 “dick pic” scandal says it is “karma“ that he has Parkinson’s, and that “at least now his pictures won’t be in focus.” I have never sent a picture of my genitals to anyone who did not want it, and I have Parkinson’s. 10 million people in the world have Parkinson’s and by my calculation that makes up for only half of the unwanted wiener images sent by men. What were the consequences of the other men’s photo-“graphic” misdeeds? And what about people like me whose privates remain private but have Parkinson’s.
What about women with Parkinson’s. What did they do to deserve it? There is no man complaining about getting a picture of a woman’s vagina. In fact, that might explain all the other men who do not have PD from sending Willie pictures. Their karma might be from sharing the picture of their girlfriend’s hay-hay to all their friends.
Of course, none of this explains what I did to deserve Parkinson’s. I can’t even look at my wee-wee in the mirror, let alone take a photo of it to share with others, especially unexpecting victims. No, it must be something else. Let’s see… One time I was almost arrested for taking pictures of a bridge. “National security,” the police officer told me. After he ran my drivers license number through the terrorist database, he said I was free to go. He said nothing about Parkinson’s. Then there was the time I was caught drinking beer underage, and on the roof of a local elementary school. All the police officer said was we were lucky he was not going to take us to jail. He did not threaten Parkinson’s instead.
You know, I bet the police investigated Brett Favre. They investigated me twice for lesser, non-testicular offenses. That must be it. The PD gave us PD. If I had known taking a picture of a bridge or enjoying a beer on the eave of the Monte Vista Elementary School roof would give me PD, I might have sent pictures of my pee-pee to the PD that gave me PD, as a thank you. Of course, the pictures would not be in focus.
What did you do to deserve Parkinson’s Disease?
"national security" bridge © Steve Steinberg