Taxi Driver Conspiracies
Part 1:
In his rearview mirror, I saw the taxi driver point to his face and make an unintelligible noise or German comment - I’m not sure which. It was neither. I found this out after muttering the universal “huh?”. “Corona… In the US?” He was being egged on by my mask. “Why you wear?” His English becoming more clear and confident. “Because I had brain surgery and I cannot get sick at all,” I lied as I pointed to the scars on my head. He made a dismissive noise, rolled his eyes, and said, “no need, and pointed to his face meaning my mask.
After deciphering his broken English and trying my Hogan’s Heroes German, I realized that he believed Americans made up COVID and that it didn’t exist in Germany. If he was right, I was truly alone in a foreign place. Not 12 hours prior I tested positive for the third time in six days. I told him, “they have corona in Spain,” where I contracted it. He did not seem surprised, and yet again made a dismissive noise.
I wanted to tear off my surgical grade mask and breath in his general direction. I wanted to yell “corona is real.” I wanted to tell him I was stranded in Valencia due to COVID, and finally able to travel to Dusseldorf this day. I wanted to yell that I was wearing the mask to protect others (him?) from possible exposure. Science said it was not likely since I had not had fever in 48 hours and no new symptoms were present. I fantasized about leaving a small tip for him along with my positive test strip from this morning.
Just then I heard chants and saw the blue lights of 10 or so police cars. There were protesters with signs. What did they say? As we approach the hundred or so protesters. I finally read a sign, “Go Home, Ami!” I quickly gleaned from the angry demeanor of the group that “ami” did not mean “friend” (as it does in France). I assumed, in fact, that it was somehow anti-American. Later I would learn I was right, but in the meantime I arrived at the hotel, tipped the driver sufficiently, and slipped into the lobby hoping no one on the street would think I was American…knowing the mask gave me away.
Part 2:
I arrived in Berlin, still reeling from my taxi ride yesterday in Dusseldorf. I had validation from a friend who was told by a German taxi driver to remove her mask or she could not ride in his taxi. I am beginning to think there is a conspiracy theory among German taxi drivers. One that suggests Americans made up the Corona Virus for some nefarious reason. Apparently, it gives them something to talk about with American fares.
Now, I was in a new taxi, with a new driver and in a new city headed from the train station to my hotel. We drive through a rotunda around a towering pillar with a bright gold statue at the top. “What is that?” I asked the taxi driver. He said that it honors the war between France and Germany in the 1700s. He is friendly enough. Unaffected by my wearing a mask.
He delivers me to my hotel. This time I don’t sneak into the hotel or fear my mask may give me away. In fact, I walk tall as an American wearing a mask as he enters the lobby of a hotel which sits right across the street from a free coronavirus testing clinic!
