Warning: Mature Content
By now you know that t-shirts are very important to me. (read previous post on t-shirts HERE). So it only makes sense that I should have What’s Shaking Man t-shirts. So I started to research my options for selling them without having to print, maintain stock, arrange shipping, and collect money. These websites exist. I have used them. I like the quality of the work and their customer service. I chose one and here is what I have learned so far.
First off, you need a graphic file the size of a New England state. And there has to be enough pixels to choke an animals that eats pixels. No smart phone takes a big enough picture to meet the standards of these sites. Luckily have a friend who makes a living making signs and banners the size of New Hampshire. I’m pretty sure, his dog eats pixels, too. I’ve seen what he pays for dog food and for that price there better be pixels in there. Anyway, he is helping me.
Another thing is there are a variety of other items besides t-shirts upon which you can put your design. There are useful and reasonable things like mugs, magnets, stickers, and pins. But then there are also impractical and tacky things like wall hangings, tapestries and pillows. Like anyone would want to decorate their home with the What’s Shaking Man motif. Nothing says “welcome to our home” like a shaky fist floor mat.
You are also asked if you’re design contains “mature content.” Not wanting to impose my standards unnecessarily upon others I clicked the “Learn More' button. The pop-up widow suggested asking myself three questions:
1. “Would you make this design on your desktop background at work?” Hell, no! Besides being an obvious conflict of interest, they think I just have the coffee jitters. I don’t need to out myself as having Parkinson’s.
2. “Would you give a baby bodysuit with this design as a gift at a baby shower?” Hell-to-the-second, no! That baby will just spit up all over it. The risk of poop getting on it is not good for sales, either.
3. “Would you show this design to an eighth grade class?” Hell-to-the-third, no! Eighth graders are the worst! Why would I subject myself to their mockery of my logo design. I have been teased and mocked up by eighth graders in the past, and by “in the past,” I mean when I presented at career day in my daughters class a few years ago. Eighth graders really don’t want to grow up to be social workers. In fact, I am pretty sure they don’t want to grow up at all!
The website goes on to describe mature content as “anything of the sexual or sensual nature.” My designs is a fist…Oh, quit thinking like an eighth grader!
Note: I put up the swag on Tee Public anyway! Just in time for your after-holiday shopping and gift giving visit my store to get in the What’s Shaking Man spirit. Sorry, no home decor stuff except a magnet for your fridge. Hurry on over. January to June 2024 proceeds will be donated to the Brian Grant Foundation.
