Asleep or Awake
There are plenty of things to worry about leading up to deep brain stimulation (DBS) surgery. Will it hurt? Will it work? What if something goes wrong? Will the government be able to steal my thoughts? When I had the surgery last year the biggest worry I had was being awake during the surgery. The hospital I had my surgery at offered asleep DBS surgery, but based on the timing, it was believed that only awake DBS could be offered. Apparently, new flooring was laid in the operating room and somehow was interfering with the interactive MRI machine necessary for asleep DBS. What the hell?! Was the floor made of metal? Has anybody at the hospital heard of that new vinyl flooring that’s weatherproof and easy to install? So, I went into the process, believing I was going to have awake DBS. What I worried about was not the idea of knowing they were drilling into my skull, but what I might say while sedated.
I’ve had many colonoscopies and know how stupid I can be coming out of general sedation. In fact, so no friends or family members get offended or hear something from me that it’s better that they never heard, I have my ex-wife take me to my colonoscopies. She knows me at my worst and probably won’t hear anything she hasn’t heard before. And even if I say something stupid, we’re already divorced. So nothing lost.
I did not have too many secrets that I was worried about getting out, but there are a couple. For one, if I get too relaxed, I might admit that the idea of eating meat grosses me out. If I’m distracted or drunk, I have no problem eating a double cheeseburger or a grilled chicken sandwich. And, maybe some pepperoni on my pizza. Otherwise, I see cows, birds and pigs pleading with me.
This next secret is not going to go over well, but as I have said, one never knows what one will say under sedation. I don’t like the Beatles. I understand they were geniuses, and I give them credit for influencing rock ‘n’ roll. That doesn’t mean that I want to hear “I Am the Walrus”, “Yellow Submarine”, or “I Want to Hold your Hand” even one more time. I know some people who only listen to the Beatles, and to them I say, “Step on into the 80s.”
In the end, all of my worries were for naught. by the time my surgery rolled around last March, IKEA or Home Depot or someone had replaced the flooring, and asleep DBS was again an option. And I chose it. I will admit it was a choice not informed by research. It was selfish, and I was afraid of being awake. I recently heard that there is some controversy about if one should have awake or asleep DBS. I was not sure what the controversy was, so I looked up some research and found nothing controversial. In fact, reviews of the research concluded that asleep BBS was slightly more accurate and effective. So being chicken was the right thing to be. Which reminds me, I think I will have a beer and a cheeseburger for dinner.
For the record I chose asleep DBS without hesitation or research. I was chicken, and was further encouraged that I would not have to have a “halo”screwed into my skull. I know I am privileged to have had a choice and to even have the surgery as an option. I respect that these decisions are deeply personal. These are just my experiences. If you want to reinforce a decision to do asleep here are the articles that informed the above post:
March 19, 2023 - two days after DBS surgery